


My Seester, She Ees Virgeen

by campylobacter



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Beer, F/M, M/M, Mexico, Military, Oral Sex, Pre-Canon, Prostitution, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-24
Updated: 2004-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campylobacter/pseuds/campylobacter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill Junior does Mardi Gras south of the border.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Seester, She Ees Virgeen

**Author's Note:**

> WhyIncision challenge items: blindfold, back seat.

Gringos call it _tee-uh-WAHN-nuh_. Locals call it _tee-HWAN-nah_. Border dwellers call it _tee-jay_.

I call it Hell.

And what do you call Tijuana the weekend before Lent?

Aunt Jane on acid -- and I'm telling you, I'm never going there again. Only time I went, it was after boot camp, me and the guys.

Gearhead points out this Mexican boy hanging on a sign post, barefoot, wearing a grungy cowboy hat, who says "My seester, she ees virgeen," to every Anglo who walks past. I start joking that the _muchacho_ sells his sister's virginity three or four times a night, and his sister is really his mother.

Several bottles of tequila later, we stagger back to the Datsun. Gearhead dry heaves every ten minutes, Lumpy can't drive stick, and I'm seeing double. Gearhead drops the keys somewhere on his garbage-covered floorboards. I claim the back seat and wait for Mexico to stop spinning. Lumpy starts dancing outside the car to a distant mariachi band.

Muchacho passes by to pimp his sister's virtue. Lumpy sends him for coffee. Muchacho returns with horchata, a handful of beads, and a _chica bonita_.

"Beeg surprise, Meester. Thees my seester. Cover you eyes."

"Who, me?"

"Si, Meester."

"Pick my pocket, and I'll break you in half, punk."

"No, ees nice surprise, you will like very much."

Yeah, well, I let them blindfold me and unzip my pants. It is a nice surprise. She smells good. The second time, in the middle of it, I lift the blindfold. It isn't her mouth doing _el Chupacabra_ on me, but Lumpy's.

Lumpy just misses returning to Base with a black eye. (He gets shipped out to Pensacola, and I never see him again.)

I get back home, and Mom asks if I enjoyed TJ. Missy and Charlie fight over the beads.

Dana keeps asking why I have a blindfold tied to my duffel bag. Little punk.


End file.
